1 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:38,220 This isn't exactly a letter. 2 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:40,820 It's more like a confession. 3 00:02:49,140 --> 00:02:50,140 You red shoes. 4 00:02:50,580 --> 00:02:54,220 I always had this dream of doing something really brave. 5 00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:03,240 Stepping out of real life into thin air. 6 00:03:11,110 --> 00:03:15,310 Finally, after years of dreaming about it, I actually mustered up the nerve to 7 00:03:15,310 --> 00:03:16,310 do it. 8 00:03:16,390 --> 00:03:17,970 And it changed my life forever. 9 00:03:21,290 --> 00:03:24,610 Not the jump, but the courage it took. 10 00:04:02,799 --> 00:04:04,520 Relax. Breathe. 11 00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:37,720 Looking down on the ground below, I felt like I was floating above my whole 12 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:38,720 life. 13 00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:42,140 It suddenly became very clear. 14 00:04:44,060 --> 00:04:45,060 Vivid. 15 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,720 I could feel how unhappy I was. 16 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:52,880 How frightened. 17 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:56,120 How resigned. 18 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,080 How much I had compromised. 19 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:26,300 I need to be the perfect girlfriend. 20 00:05:35,180 --> 00:05:37,920 The perfect soon -to -be stepmother. 21 00:05:39,020 --> 00:05:40,520 And the perfect lover. 22 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,500 The perfect daughter. 23 00:05:44,340 --> 00:05:46,500 And sister and friend. 24 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:50,160 Perfect. 25 00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:12,740 Beautiful. Show me your favorite part. 26 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,740 It's like I was an actress playing a role. 27 00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:24,180 Every part. 28 00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:30,080 Every solitary interview. 29 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,320 Acting the way he wanted me to act. 30 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,080 Doing things I would otherwise never do. 31 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,780 Strip teas and champagne shows. 32 00:06:49,580 --> 00:06:51,700 Just going through the motions. 33 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:53,900 All of it a lie. 34 00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:00,180 Seriously, before the jump, that's the way my life went. 35 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:04,740 I could find a reason, no matter how irrational, not to do anything for me. 36 00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:14,320 Yeah, I was paralyzed, seriously paralyzed, frightened, 37 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:18,160 complacent, 38 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:23,300 pretending to be something I wasn't. 39 00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:51,460 a message on the machine and I forgot to call her back. 40 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:55,720 I'm sorry. 41 00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:08,380 Pretending to be in love. 42 00:09:10,260 --> 00:09:11,260 Pretending to be happy. 43 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,380 Pretending, pretending, pretending. 44 00:09:22,220 --> 00:09:23,560 I'll take it if you stop my name. 45 00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:11,250 Sorry, baby. 46 00:10:11,770 --> 00:10:13,170 I really didn't expect it. 47 00:10:13,970 --> 00:10:14,970 Shh. 48 00:10:15,130 --> 00:10:16,530 Yeah, I love Max. Don't worry. 49 00:10:16,730 --> 00:10:17,730 I know you do. 50 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:58,700 made love I would squeeze my eyes shut pretend I was jumping 51 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:04,540 fearless and exhilarated 52 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:09,360 and I thought about him my instructor 53 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:14,400 the way he made me feel 54 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:20,220 safe and brave at the same time 55 00:11:20,220 --> 00:11:22,560 secure 56 00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:33,130 Imagine that. I actually felt happy. 57 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:39,560 I went back again and again. 58 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,420 I couldn't get enough. 59 00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:44,780 Enough of him. 60 00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:54,160 With every jump I made, I became a little braver and a little happier. 61 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:03,320 No plans. 62 00:14:04,220 --> 00:14:06,020 No future. No pressure. 63 00:14:07,370 --> 00:14:09,610 No right or wrong, just happy. 64 00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:20,110 She told me it was her way of feeling alive. 65 00:14:32,650 --> 00:14:35,710 And when we talked, we actually talked to one another. 66 00:14:43,210 --> 00:14:44,210 We had it all. 67 00:14:45,590 --> 00:14:50,190 Beauty, grace, charm, intelligence. 68 00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:00,150 We were honest. 69 00:15:01,830 --> 00:15:03,550 Totally and completely honest. 70 00:15:07,750 --> 00:15:11,670 Of course, the more we saw each other, 71 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,580 The closer we became. 72 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:22,960 I asked her if she'd let him know what she was feeling. She said she didn't 73 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:23,960 to hurt him. 74 00:15:24,980 --> 00:15:27,720 But I made it clear to her that I couldn't save her. 75 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,400 That that was something she'd have to do herself. 76 00:15:56,110 --> 00:15:57,830 to the place where I felt most brave. 77 00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:06,330 You know, I can't believe you're actually going to be my wife. 78 00:16:08,030 --> 00:16:09,610 The man I was about to marry. 79 00:16:10,810 --> 00:16:13,190 You have no idea how good this is for me. 80 00:16:14,270 --> 00:16:18,090 The man I wanted to love, but didn't. 81 00:16:19,710 --> 00:16:20,990 I'm taking you someplace. 82 00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,110 A special place where we can talk. 83 00:16:27,850 --> 00:16:29,810 A place with nothing but silence. 84 00:16:31,170 --> 00:16:32,430 No kids. 85 00:16:34,050 --> 00:16:35,350 No phones. 86 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:09,480 I was scared to death, but I did it. 87 00:17:10,140 --> 00:17:11,140 And he listened. 88 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:13,520 He understood. 89 00:17:26,619 --> 00:17:30,380 I knew then that I wasn't escaping my life, I was finding it. 90 00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:44,820 to be my wife. 91 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:50,460 I'm not going to be anyone's perfect anything for a long time. 92 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:58,620 It was like I'd taken all the little fears and went right to the thing that 93 00:17:58,620 --> 00:17:59,620 frightened me the most. 94 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:08,960 And once I conquered it, that one big fear, everything else seemed to 95 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:09,960 fall into play. 96 00:23:14,220 --> 00:23:15,680 We became great friends. 97 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,360 My instructor and me. 98 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,380 Lovers, but more importantly, the best of friends. 99 00:23:25,460 --> 00:23:26,580 Partners of fun. 100 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:29,640 Do you hear what I said, Red Shoes? 101 00:23:30,980 --> 00:23:31,980 Fun. 102 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,320 The biggest miracle of all. 103 00:23:38,860 --> 00:23:43,480 Anyway, Red Shoes, if you ever paint yourself into a corner, Into a place 104 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:44,820 you can't find your way out. 105 00:23:45,380 --> 00:23:48,000 My advice to you is to just shut your eyes and jump. 106 00:23:51,660 --> 00:23:52,660 I still jump. 107 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:54,880 Don't? No. 108 00:25:44,750 --> 00:25:45,750 Bye.